If someone produced a version of ‘Inside Out’ about me, Anxiety would be the queen of my mind. The three weeks I’ve had in NYC have been very turbulent, on the inside.
Between still trying to settle in (REMEMBER TO STICK TO THE RIGHT!) and holding onto the belief that there is a place for me in this gigantic city is not a piece of cake (the latter being extremely difficult). Even though every single person back at home told me I would be fine and I would kill it in the concrete jungle. my fear was still very real. Since Brad left for his adventure in NYC, I’ve pretty much been rolling around in a pit of worry for 11 months wondering if I could make my way to New York and also make it work. And for the first time (in a very long time), I think I can say ‘yes’.
It’s so bizarre how things pan out and I can barely formulate it into words for this blog. Bear with me as this might be a tangent, but last night I finished re-watching the Back To The Future trilogy and what really stuck to me this time was the each character’s “fate”. They were always connected to each other, no matter the time period. At the end of the film, Doc says:
Our future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one…
So my future in NYC hasn’t been written yet, but fate still exists, right? I really believe that there are stepping stones in place which equate to fate — much like the reoccurring elements in the world of Marty and Doc. For me I haven’t encountered many stepping stones. I’m still young, I guess? :P
The first one was from a couple of years ago, where I was juggling four jobs at one time and I had pretty much given up on finding the one job I would love. Every time I tried, I was rejected. I wasn’t right for it or something. There already weren’t enough hours in a day for my odd jobs, finishing my degree, supporting U-KISS, and somehow it also happen to be the time where I just met Brad. So I wasn’t looking for a job anymore and I learnt to be happy where I was. Then, one of my four jobs (the one I really liked too :( ) fell through and nothing made sense. I was gutted, but I still decided to focus on what I had and wasn’t looking for anything else. Out of the blue, an opportunity fell into my lap. Everything clicked, from the first message to the interview and all the rest of it. And I truly believe this was a stepping stone of fate. I wasn’t able to find anything that fit because this job was finding its way to me in its own natural course. I hope this makes sense and that the concept of time travel hasn’t messed with my mind in any way.
Needless to say, it was incredibly difficult to leave this amazing job in Sydney to come to NYC. They were like a second family. I still packed my bags and went out the door (after staying for an extra 3 weeks!) and I’m now writing this post in my apartment. I’m rambling about all of this because a very similar sort of thing happened again today. Again, I ran around like a headless chicken trying to find my place and I knew each time I tried, it wasn’t going to work. I placed my bet on one particular opportunity (with the little hope I had) and the one I bet on actually worked out. I’m still reeling in shock from encountering another stepping stone of fate and all I can say is “Great Scott!”.
It would be amazing to hear about anyone else who thinks they’ve encountered some stepping stones of their own too.
Anyway less brain dump-y blog posts to be resumed very soon.
P.S I saw a tea leaf reading lady a month ago and she was quite wrong about me. TAKE THAT, MAGIC TEA CUP!